*** * ***[ Wednesday, April 14, 2004 ]

The Prism Project is a great one.
As well as the obvious goodness of the work, it has helped me keep my bookshelves flowing, so to speak, over the years.
It is easier to part with a book with which I have had a good dance, when I know it's usefulness will be so much better honoured in this way... I encourage you to support this project.
Suggestions for how, including actual book donations, are on their site. x
jaihn [11:47 pm]

*** * ***[ Saturday, April 03, 2004 ]

Broadband connection... New worlds of possibilities.
Millions of choices: multidimensional supermarket/library shelves.
A whole new level of energy management to attend to, for the sake of equilibrium.

The phrase 'lost the plot' keeps coming to consciousness.
Applicable in more ways than I wish. Neptunian fogs.
The mushy phase between caterpillar and butterfly.
While the imaginal discs do their work, the mush that will become beauty-full and articulate probably doesn't feel so gorgeous...or too clear about any blueprint-plot-dream...

I am going to leave 'mediations' to rest for a while -
as in: deciding to, rather than letting it slip any further into uncomfortable unattended-to-ness.

I think my need is to write deeper, maybe wider. For a while.
More freely than I feel comfortable to do when the mysterious interface-publish-zone of 'mediations' is the destination of my words.

My focus will also be on creating
That isn't visible yet, but it is beginning to be manifest,
and there is an enormous amount of learning to attend to there, too, in that mediation process.
How I imagine, and how I create...Choices. Skills. Explorations. Learnings.

A short break from this page, then, now. Which may last a month, or so...
"So much things to say", and to show - and finding out how takes time, in the world of time...
Mercury will be heading retro on Monday - tuned choices to streamline navigation'r'us.

jaihn [8:00 pm]

*** * ***[ Wednesday, March 31, 2004 ]

...Oops... technical hitches kept me silent again....
my british telecom line went awol for another few days...reinstated today....
Here's my statement of intention: to write more on here, very soon.
Broadband is happening, over here. It's astonishing.
And I am sure it is even more astonishing than I yet realise...

* * * * * * *

jaihn [12:04 am]

*** * ***[ Saturday, March 20, 2004 ]

Today I reached for chapter 13 in Women Who Run With The Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.
I remembered enough of it to know it would help me...

In the last few weeks I suddenly experienced several situations, which I choose not to disclose here, but which affected me deeply and have largely taken up my focus.
I wasn't comfortable to write about these experiences, in this pageplace.
It all rendered me unable to write a 'mediations' entry at all, until now.

This got me wondering about 'the (psychic) Dead Zone' (around secrets) which CPE writes about, and 'Secrets as Slayers'. Re-reading her helpful chapter, I was reminded that, yes, the telling brings the freeing - but, crucially, for this telling, Dr Estes recommends: "Choose a person whom you instinctively believe to be trustworthy".

And suddenly I am off the hook again. Of course it is ok for me to not say these tender stories here - and so long as I am saying them somewhere, to someone, then I can find my way back into speaking comfortably in this wide open zone of online expression.

My instincts can't determine your trustworthyness, dear screen-reader, because I don't always know who you are. And just as I wouldn't write a letter to a newspaper about these matters, so I can now make peace with choosing to withold details from here.

This form is a constant zone of learning to deconfuse intimate/public, I find.

I am grateful once again for guidance from CP Estes - La Que Sabe.

Another marvellous woman, whose work has been feeding me deeply:
Joanna Macy.

Her books, ordered online just before my phone went quiet, showed up on a sad, rainy Friday afternoon, in a dampened cardboard wrapper. I extracted the books just in time to avoid their becoming soggy. Reading them sometimes brings salt-water jewel-tears dropping onto the pages, though...

I have been reading World as Lover, World as Self,
and look forward to reading Widening Circles: A Memoir, and Coming Back to Life.

And to following this gracefully unfolding trail...

* * * * * * *
jaihn [7:20 pm]

*** * ***[ Wednesday, March 17, 2004 ]

Incommunicado....I had a week of telephone-line not's fixed now....
I'll say some more, soon.
jaihn [6:10 pm]

*** * ***[ Monday, March 08, 2004 ]

Today I've been working on what now seems a rather clunky machine - while my newer one is in laptop hospital, being made even less clunky...

I have prepared a research-intensive, portal-rich entry for SeaHear tonight, and now I am out of steam, so to speak.

So this is by way of a blown-kiss to this page, and a pointer towards the other one.

jaihn [12:47 am]

*** * ***[ Monday, March 01, 2004 ]

I have posted a new poem today, over at SeaHear.
My first contribution to the Ecotone project.
LearningCurves 'r' us.
jaihn [5:52 pm]

*** * ***[ Sunday, February 29, 2004 ]

Last night I watched the behind-the-scenes presentations on my newly-delivered Whalerider dvd.
It changes things once the processes involved in film-making are revealed.

I'm glad I didn't see any trailers, or read any reviews, before seeing the film in the cinema, last July. And I'm deeply glad to have seen it (twice) before the dvd told me hitherto hidden stories.
I like diving into the illusion-world uncluttered, sometimes.
Drinking in pure liquid, rather than reading labels, so to speak.
I trust my intuition to tell me if the contents are nourishing.

Two things I learned from the dvd are staying with me particularly, today.
One is that the novel on which the film was based was inspired by a whale beaching, within view of where the man who went on to write the story was living.
Reminded of his Maori Ancestral stories, he began weaving words for our times.
If you've read recent entries here, or in the whalefile, you may understand my sense of connection to this.
Messengers from the Oceans, finding passionate folk to mediate their resonant calls.

The second thing is what the Elder of the village where the film-making happened said,
about the experience all the people involved had enjoyed together:
'The Dreaming may end, but the Heart muscles we developed stay'.
(That may not be quoting him word-for-word).

There's a mirror of the tenacity-of-the-true in the dvd re-orientation process, too.
I may never be able to re-experience my previous ignorant immersion in the presented imagery of the film, but neither will I ever lose the riches that experience gave me.

The people of Coll no longer have the body of the Whale on their shores, giving her final silent song, but I am sure that their moving experience will stay singing very deeply with some of them; perhaps echoing forever.

Two more discoveries I made this week seem connected by more than my synchronous attentions. I'm repeating myself between pages here, because it feels right.
The Indigenous Australian Mirning Tribe and Scottish Artist Helen Denerley are both concerned with Spirit of Whale, and with transformations, now.
(more in Feb 27 whalefile).

Amidst a marvellous gathering, Martin Prechtel once said: "We gots to work on the Critical Mass".
And I suspect the Whales are leaning together in that direction, too.
That's one heavy-duty lean.
Maybe, leaning too, in whatever ways we feel called, we can even reach the sunken, behind-scenes, naval heart-muscles, in time.

We gots to give it a try, I feel. While we're here, breathing Air.
jaihn [6:47 pm]

*** * ***[ Monday, February 23, 2004 ]

There is a week for me to learn the 'wiki' ways over at the Ecotone: 'Writing About Place' site, if I am to contribute something to their next topic: OceanandSea. It seems synchro-nice.

The whalefile and now SeaHear, too, are both up-and-swimming, so2speak.
And I am fluffing out again, and finding new equilibrium, after the recent tidal-waves from beached whale and awakenings.

I arrived at Ecotone via a sense of place - I discovered it while e-snuffling around the London Bloggers site, hoping to meet some good neighbours. The actual blog that pointed me there was London and The North, which I look forward to exploring further.

A million web logs + sites may have passed before my eyes this week. Sometimes people say unpleasant things about themselves and their work, in places aimed at connecting with other people. It's as if 'eloquence' and 'honouring' became taboo, for them.

A brief email exchange about weblog possibilities started me wondering about what the writer termed 'courting public attention', earlier this week. I found my place of rest with this issue, when I got to the intention of service as prime motivation for going public. Rather than the desire to be seen, only, driving us to publish.
It's a zone that seems worth becoming clear about, over here/over there.

Sharing our stories in the spirit of connecting well, and offering our insights, learnings, finds, delights and human unfoldings.
Those are surely all in the mix - whether easily visible in sweet creativities, or buried amongst the too-tired-too-young, cynical self-negation which I saw in excessive online bucketloads. Online as in Life, really...

The chatiryworld creatress put my name in her e-light, after I left a comment there which sparked a good memory for her: my first other-weblog-link, and it pleased me to be connected to.
I imagine often-younger-than-me but longer-experienced weblog-mothers smiling wistfully as they remember their firsts, too.
(..."Ahhh. Look. She's got your eyes. And voice. And she's Smiling!"...)

In 'The Re-Enchantment of Art', by Suzi Gablik, I've just been reading more about the paradigm-shift we live amongst: from old-school, famous-for-products, usually-alienated, individuals; to new-style, connective-process/artist-as-agent-for-healing-transformations. I'm enjoying the fine words: helpful insights, succinct eloquence. Good for these UranianPiscean times.

Heather Roan Robbins' weekly StarCodes is another ongoing assistance treasure, to which I will display an electric door, in here, for now...

My designs on creating my electric cupboard page as container of marvellous and well-sorted links is delayed, while the whalefile and seahear pages came into being.
Somehow my online life expands daily. Broadband is now included in my coming-soon expansion adjustments.

Hopefully, the chilly London air will have warmed to coincide with my always-accessible online-ness, so that I may more comfortably attend to my needs for moving and sitting near big Spring-ing trees, for gazing into open space and sunlit eyes, to counteract the ferociously seductive lure of screenLife.

jaihn [12:15 am]